Maybe I’m dreaming but I’m starting to think I can live my life by my own rules. The sense of power is growing within me. My vision is getting clearer. Without a picture in my mind of where I want to end up, I’ve been floundering. Every idea has died on the vine before it ripened at all. But now I think I’m close.
One picture is very clear. I can not get another “career” job. The idea just shuts my brain down. I’ll never forget when I started my last job, CEO of a nonprofit. A colleague said something to the effect of “well this is a career capstone job that you can retire from.” I felt ill and immediately said “oh hell no.” And not one thing has changed. My heart is clear on this one thing.
I am a powerful believer in my ability to change. I’ve been unsure of my ability to do anything else, but I know I can and will transform my life. I still don’t know exactly how that change will look and until I get that picture clear in my mind I will stay in holding. But once I know what I want, no power in the ‘verse can stop me. (Again, Firefly fans, you know from whence I speak)