Yikes! What was I thinking?

As expected, I am reaching that point in every new journey where I become anxious as hell. When I start it feels exciting and everything is just kicking along. Wow, what a cool idea! And what about this and then this! It’ll be great!

Well, this is harder than I thought but I’m learning every day and that’s exciting too. I can do this even though it’s hard work.

Okay, I’ve met my first milestones and wow did I make some stupid mistakes. But I learned some important lessons. Unfortunately one of the lessons I’ve learned is that most mistakes had to do with my own inadequacies. I am too nice to negotiate tough. I want to be genuine and not play games but the business world runs on games and pretending to be bigger or more successful than you are. Weakness is not tolerated.

I knew it wouldn’t be smoothe sailing all the way. I knew I wouldn’t just be naturally good at all of it. I knew it would cost more money that I expected. I knew lots of things…in my head.

So now I need to respond to all the things I’ve learned and move on to the next phase where I’m going to have to learn all new things and fix the mistakes I’ve made so far. Shit, what if I can’t? What if my idea actually sucks?  Suddenly there is more competition than there was just two months ago? Suddenly I don’t feel confident that I’ve chosen the right market. It didn’t matter two months ago that it would be a slow growth brand and maybe not wildly profitable as long as it was building for the future.

Panic at the disco!

Hold the phone!

Run away!…Run away!!!

Beathe.  Close your eyes and breathe. Take a walk in the woods. Take a break. It’s a marathon, not a sprint.

You can do this. If you don’t succeed at first, you can try try again.

I’m on my way to my first sellers conference. This was the point of going to a conference now. The timing was perfect. Right now I need the boost and the help of others who are doing this crazy thing with me. Everyone has been through this and will be through it again. As my therapist always asks; “what’s the worst that can happen?”  I’ll lose money and my pride will be wounded. People will know I’ve failed. Ha! Been there done that. Then again, I might just as likely succeed.

Okay. Panic attack subsiding.


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